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Just Because You’re A Nice Girl, Doesn’t Mean He’ll Be A Nice Guy

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We need to stop living with this false sense of hope, that will only lead us closer towards self inflicted heartache and self-destruction, that he will change. He’s never going to change and you can’t keep hoping and waiting for the day that he might.

Please don’t be the woman that thinks that the longer she stays around and proves herself to him like he’s some sort of king that he’s finally going to appreciate you. If he doesn’t already show you the attention and adoration you show him, then please tell me what makes him such a catch?

What is it about him that you’re so infatuated by? A real man, once he sees a good, genuine women with a pure heart and true intentions will not play with her heart, he will protect it. He is only stringing you along, and all of the uncertainty and unhappiness you’re experiencing is a warning sign of that.

He’s only toying with your feelings, leaving you on a high when you’re with him and leaving you crying and crushed when decides to ignore you and do his own thing like you don’t mean a thing to him and that you never will. This is all a little game to him, it’s all about him at the end of the day.

There will be times where you genuinely think he gives a damn about you and wants this to go somewhere, but before you know it, it’s back to square one and he will make it perfectly clear to you that he wants nothing more and he’s happy being single and unattached. He will really emphasise it.

He will preach on and on about how much he loves being single or rather he will use the word independent, and about how he’s finding himself, focusing on him and he just doesn’t have that mindset and the time to be in a relationship. He really wants you of all people to know these things.

Oh don’t get confused because that doesn’t of course mean he won’t put in the time and effort to play with your feelings, send you mixed signals and lead you on. You may think he actually cares about you, thinks about you and talks about you, but you’re just another women amongst many to him.

You’d think at a certain point in their life, they’d get tired of just sleeping around and entertaining countless women, but they just prove you wrong. Women are disposable and interchangeable to them. Women are convenient and available upon a simple swipe and meaningless direct or text message.

Some people may never grow out of that phase and unluckily and unfairly for us, they’ve been screwed and stuffed around by women in the past and for some reason, we have to be the ones to suffer for that. Now that they have trust and commitment issues, that’s all our fault and our burden to take on.

Do not underestimate someone’s ability to hurt you despite how much heart you show them and no matter how kind you are to them. To the right person it will mean the world but in the wrong hands they will only take advantage and leave you feeling empty, alone and broken.

You will be left wondering why you’re not enough for them and you’ll begin the unhealthy habit of comparing yourself to others who you feel they’d be attracted to and is their “type”. As soon as a man makes you question, doubt and hate yourself, he’s not worth it. Get out while you can. 

Wait for the guy who will make you feel so loved and as though you don’t need to change a single thing about yourself. The guy who will always make you feel that you are enough and more for him. The guy who will see what a sure thing he has and would never be stupid enough to risk losing it and letting another guy have the chance at it.

I need you to accept that he has no consideration whatsoever for your feelings. You think he doesn’t know that he got your hopes up or that he’s got you attached and hanging onto his false promises and puppy dog eyes? He knows damn well and it doesn’t affect him one teeny tiny bit at all.

You see the sweet side to him and the very rare times where he treats you a fraction of how you deserve, you put him on a pedestal because you can’t help but take what he does and says to mean more than he intended for it to mean. For him it was a sweet nothing, for you it was everything.

The truth is that he already appreciates you. He appreciates that you’ll always be there and that he knows he can take advantage of having you run to him whenever it coincidentally is convenient for him. He appreciates that you’d come running to him even after he was running away from you.

You can’t make him realise what he has, he already knows. He’s not stupid, he’s just really good at acting like he is. He’s not blind, he can see perfectly well what he has in front of him. He knows you’re a good person and a good woman, but it’s just not what he wants, needs or deserves.

You should never want to make excuses for a man who cannot treat you right. I don’t care how into him you are and how much you want to be with him. If he can’t give you the respect you freely give him, why are you gifting him with your time of day? He clearly doesn’t care about yours in the slightest.

If he keeps leading you on, but at the same time tries to make it perfectly clear that this will be nothing more than it is, he will feel he’s got the upper hand because he’s told you he doesn’t want to be committed, however you’re willing to treat him as if it’s okay for him to not have to commit to you.

You’re willing to go above and beyond for him, but please remember that he wouldn’t lift a finger for you. He’s not thinking of you when you’re endlessly thinking of him. He’s not being thoughtful of you when you’re being thoughtful of him. He’s not making the time for you when you’d give him all of yours.

The reality is that he’s single and he’s going to do typical single guy things. You may think he’s only got eyes for you and is only giving you his time, but just remember he’s a damn good liar and manipulator. Why would he openly tell you he’s seeing, sleeping with or talking to other women?

He will know the right thing to say at the right time and you’ll have in your head he’s the perfect guy, but is he really when most of the time he makes you feel as low and lost as you do? You’ve grown attached to this idea that he’s the one for you when really, he’s only the one that’s only going to hurt you.

You can’t keep looking to him to save you. You can’t keep expecting him to rise to the occasion. You can’t keep hoping he will eventually make this more than what it is. You can’t keep attaching yourself to him when he doesn’t want you to. You can’t keep switching between happy and sad.

He’s a coward. He’s so lost in his own self-indulgent ways to see any sense. He’s confused about his own feelings and because of that, he’ll leave you just as confused. One thing I know is that he knows you’re a good woman, it’s just that right now, at this point in his life and maybe not for a long time, that’s not what he’s looking for.

He wants flings and fun. He wants no strings attached. He wants someone who will act like a girlfriend without the title. He wants someone there to feed his ego. He wants sex because he can only think with one part of him. He wants women and as many of them as he can possibly get.

You’ll only ever get a taste of him, not the entirety of him. He will make sure that he will never let the two of you get too close and that he does not let you into his life and what really goes on. He will keep you at a distance, but close enough to not lose you completely because he will miss you and need you at some point.

There will be moments where he will connect with you on a really deep and meaningful level and you will let him into all the beautiful parts of your mind, humour and life just as he will do for you, but he doesn’t deserve that kind of privilege and pleasure from you. He will fall for you, but he will know how to switch off his feelings as soon as he senses this happening.

He will look at you and see something in you, but for now he just wants something temporary and fulfilling for the meantime, not a lifetime. The chemistry will undeniably be there, but he’s never going to let it reach its full potential. You’re never going to get what you want from him, even if you keep hanging around hoping for the best.

He’s selfish. He’s afraid to be on his own and he gets damn lonely, but that’s something he’ll never admit. He’s got too much pride and is too self-infatuated. For him, the pool of women are there to make him feel better about himself and losing out on a keeper doesn’t mean shit.

He’s too busy loving the attention and comfort of having someone there. He doesn’t care about the individual women let alone you. He just craves the company because truth is when the night time creeps up on him, he needs someone there. He’s wasting your time and you’re wasting your own by staying.

Just remember, him not wanting to be with you has nothing to do with you not being enough for him or having to treat him better than you have. We just find the need to prove ourselves to people who cannot show us any appreciation. The truth you’re yet to realise is that you’re well out of his league and he’s actually not enough for you.

That’s why you’re running after him, doing too much for him and holding onto him… because he knows how to make you feel that it’s you. You’re so into him that you’re blinded by the fact that he’s actually not that great. Please don’t lose yourself and your sense of identity and self worth in him.

Best way to let him go? Picture the day you meet the love of your life and he can finally realise that he has lost you once and for all and for good.

You will never find the real love of your life if you keep holding onto him and what you think will always be an unfinished chapter, but is actually a lost and hopeless cause.

Trust me when he sees that someone was smart enough to snatch you up, he’ll regret giving that guy the chance to do so in the first place.